Sharing Ashes Among Loved Ones

When someone we love passes, the grief doesn't belong to just one person — it lives in every heart that was touched by their life. A mother is also a sister, a friend, a grandmother. A father is also a son, a neighbor, a mentor. And each of those people carries their own version of love, their own need to say goodbye.

That's why many families choose to share ashes — so that each person who loved them can hold a part of that farewell in their own hands, in their own time, in their own way.

How Sharing Works

At Pachamama, we designed our Small Urns to hold a portion of ashes — just enough for a personal ceremony. Many families choose one Medium or Large Urn for the main farewell, and then two or three Small Urns for siblings, children, or close friends who want to carry their own moment of remembrance.

Some families release all the urns together — standing side by side on a dock, a boat, or a shoreline, watching them float and dissolve in unison. Others take their Small Urns home and plan a separate ceremony weeks or even months later, in a place that holds meaning for them: a quiet lake, a childhood garden, a stretch of coastline where they once walked together.

There is no right way. There is only your way.

Before the Ceremony

Start by thinking about how many people will want to participate. A common choice is one Medium or Large Urn for the main release, plus two or three Small Urns for those who want a personal farewell. Each urn comes with a biodegradable ashes bag inside — simply divide the ashes gently and place a portion into each bag.

If you're unsure how to divide the ashes, your crematorium can help. They do this often, and they'll handle it with care. Our step-by-step use guide walks you through preparing and sealing each urn.

During the Ceremony

This is the moment that stays with you. Some families gather at the water's edge and release their urns at the same time — watching two, three, or four flowers float together before gently sinking. Others read a short poem or blessing, play a meaningful song, or simply stand in silence, holding hands.

If you'd like words for this moment, we've gathered some gentle ceremony readings and blessings that families have found comforting. You can also scatter dried rose petals on the water as a final gesture of love.

One of our customers, Shanalyna, ordered three Small Urns for an infant ceremony. She shared: "The urns floated and sank in unison, which was lovely to watch." That image — of love released together, returning to nature as one — is something families carry with them long after the ceremony ends.

After the Ceremony

All Pachamama urns are 100% biodegradable. They float briefly — between 30 seconds and 2 minutes — then gently sink and dissolve completely, usually within a week. Nothing is left behind but the memory of that moment and the knowledge that your farewell honored both your loved one and the earth.

Some families describe the experience of releasing multiple urns as a "shared blessing." There is something deeply moving about watching several flowers on the water at once — each one representing a different bond, a different goodbye, yet all part of the same love.

Why Families Choose to Share

Every family is different, and there are many reasons why sharing ashes feels right. Sometimes siblings live in different cities and each wants a way to say goodbye close to home. Sometimes a grandchild needs their own small ceremony to process what happened. Sometimes a best friend asks to be included, because the bond they shared was just as real.

Sharing ashes creates space for everyone's grief to be honored — not just in one place, one moment, but across different waters, different seasons, different hearts.

A Note About Our Urns for Sharing

Our Water Tribute Urns come in three sizes, and each one includes everything you need for the ceremony: the urn with a handcrafted tissue paper flower, a biodegradable ashes bag, dried flower confetti, step-by-step ceremony instructions, and a curated farewell music playlist.

If your ceremony is planned on a cruise ship, every order also includes a Certificate of Biodegradability, which most cruise lines require.

For families honoring a beloved pet, our Pet Memorial Kits include a keepsake urn, candle holder, and optional photo frame — a gentle way to keep their memory close at home while releasing a portion of ashes into nature.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can ashes be divided among several urns? Yes. Our Small Urns are designed to hold a portion of ashes — perfect for sharing among siblings, children, or close friends. Your crematorium can help you divide the ashes if needed.

How many urns should I plan for? Many families choose one Medium or Large Urn for the main ceremony, plus two or three Small Urns for those who want a personal farewell. Contact us if you'd like help deciding — we're happy to guide you.

Do the Small Urns float the same way? Yes. All sizes float briefly — between 30 seconds and 2 minutes — before gently sinking and dissolving completely.

Can we hold ceremonies in different places? Absolutely. One of the most beautiful things about sharing ashes is that each person can choose a place that feels meaningful to them. A sister might release her urn in a lake where they spent childhood summers. A son might choose the ocean where his father loved to fish. Each farewell is unique, and all of them are valid.

Is it safe for the environment to release multiple urns? Yes. All Pachamama urns are made from sustainable, biodegradable materials — no plastics, no metals, no toxins. Whether you release one urn or five, the earth and the water are respected. You can read more in our FAQ.

Can I keep some ashes at home instead of releasing them? Yes. Many families choose to scatter most of the ashes in a water ceremony or garden burial and keep a small portion at home in a keepsake urn. It doesn't have to be one or the other — you can honor your loved one in more than one way.

Sharing ashes is not about dividing love. It's about multiplying the places where love can be felt. Each urn, each ceremony, each quiet moment by the water — it all matters. And wherever you choose to release your farewell, know that you are not alone in this.

We are here if you need us.

With love,

Virginia