Memorial Gift Ideas the Whole Family Can Share
When someone dies, the grief rarely lives in one house. A mother is also a sister, a grandmother, a best friend two states away. So when you look for a memorial gift, the hardest part is often not choosing the object. It is choosing something that does not leave anyone out.
These are seven memorial gifts a whole family can share. Some we make, most we do not, and all of them work when the people who loved someone live in different places.
1. One Online Memorial That Every Home Can Open
The family is spread out, but the memories do not have to be. A shared online memorial gathers everyone's photos, letters and short videos in one place, added by the people who knew them, from wherever they are.
That is why we made our memorial candle holder with a shared online memorial. It is a small piece handmade in Florida from cement, about 5 by 2.5 inches, that holds a tea light. Rest a phone on the feather and the memorial opens. If you choose a Set of 2 or a Set of 3, every piece opens the same memorial, so each home can light a candle beside it and add to the same place. A single piece is $85, a Set of 2 is $149 and a Set of 3 is $190.
It does not hold ashes. That makes it a gentle choice for the cousin, the friend or the grandchild who wants something to hold without keeping remains at home. If you have never seen one, here is what an NFC memorial is and how it works.
2. A Keepsake Urn for Each Person Who Wants One
When the family has the ashes, sharing them is often the most meaningful gift of all: one portion each, so love can live in more than one place.
Our Songbird keepsake urn is a matte white bird that reads as a piece of décor before it reads as an urn. It holds about 1 cup, roughly 240 ml: a cherished portion of a person's ashes, or the complete ashes of a pet up to about 15 pounds. It is $85. If you are not sure how much to give each person, our guide to how much ash fits in a keepsake urn compares every size side by side, and sharing ashes among loved ones covers dividing them without anyone feeling left out.
3. One Ceremony, Several Small Urns
Some families want to say goodbye together. Each person releases their own small urn at the same time, on the same water.
Our biodegradable water urns come in a Small size that holds 8 to 10 oz of ashes, made for exactly this. Each one floats for 30 seconds to 2 minutes with a full load, longer with a partial one, and then sinks and dissolves, usually within a week. Two or three Small urns beside one Medium or Large is a common way to plan it.
4. A Night of Letters
Ask everyone to write one letter to the person who died. Not a eulogy, just a letter: thank you, I remember, I miss you when. Read them aloud together, or keep them private.
Our guide to writing a farewell letter to accompany ashes has gentle steps and phrases to start from. If the family has a shared online memorial, the letters can live there too, so the person who could not travel can still read them.
5. The Same Candle, Lit at the Same Hour
Agree on a time, on the anniversary or a birthday, and light a candle in every home at once. It costs almost nothing, and it is one of the few rituals that works across time zones. With a set of our memorial candle holders, every one of those candles sits beside the same memorial.
6. A Book Everyone Writes In
A memory book passed from house to house, or a family recipe book with their dishes and the stories behind them. It takes a few months to fill, and that is part of the gift: it gives people a reason to keep talking about them.
7. Something Planted Together
A tree, a rose bush, a corner of a garden. If the family is releasing ashes to the earth, our earth urns with flower seeds are planted directly and return to the soil. If not, the planting alone is enough.
How to Choose Between Them
| If the family... | Consider |
|---|---|
| lives in different cities and wants one place for memories | a shared online memorial, with one piece per home |
| has the ashes and wants a portion in each home | a keepsake urn for each person |
| wants to say goodbye together, in one day | several small biodegradable urns in one ceremony |
| does not want ashes in the house at all | the memorial candle holder, a letters night, a book, or a tree |
| is sending a gift to someone who is grieving | something they can open when they are ready |
Many families combine two: a keepsake for each home and one ceremony for the rest, or a shared memorial and a candle lit at the same hour every year. There is no wrong combination.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a good memorial gift for a whole family?
One that every person can take part in, wherever they live. A shared online memorial, a keepsake for each home, a night of letters or a candle lit at the same hour all work for families spread across several places.
Can several family members share one online memorial?
Yes. With our memorial candle holder, a Set of 2 or a Set of 3 opens the same memorial from every piece. Single pieces bought separately each open their own memorial, so choose a set if you want one shared place.
Do we need ashes for a memorial gift?
No. Our memorial candle holder does not hold ashes, and neither does a letters night, a memory book or a tree. If the family does want to keep a portion, a keepsake urn like the Songbird holds about 1 cup.
How much ash does each person need for a keepsake?
Much less than people expect. The Songbird holds about 1 cup, a cherished portion of an adult's ashes or the complete ashes of a pet up to about 15 pounds. Our keepsake size guide has the full comparison.
Can we combine a keepsake and a ceremony?
Yes, and most families do. Keep a portion at home in a keepsake urn and release the rest with a biodegradable urn, whenever the family is ready.
With love,
Virginia
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