What to Do with Ashes After Cremation: A Heartfelt Guide to Choosing a Meaningful Farewell

When someone we love dies, we enter a quiet, unfamiliar territory. One moment we are caring, supporting, loving—and the next we are left holding the weight of decisions no one ever prepared us for. One of those tender questions is: What should I do with the ashes?

It’s not just about logistics—it’s about love, memory, grief, and honoring the life that was. If you're reading this, know that you're not alone. I've been there too. And it's from that place of understanding that Pachamama was born—a way to offer gentle, intentional tools to accompany these sacred transitions.

1. Returning to the Earth with Intention: The Beauty of Biodegradable Urns

There’s something deeply healing about letting the body return to nature—allowing what once was to nourish what will be. Biodegradable urns create that bridge.

At Pachamama, we handcraft each urn with sustainable materials—free of plastic, gentle on the earth, and made with the same care and love that we would want for our own families. Some are designed for burial in soil, others for release in water. Each one is a container for memory, a vessel of love, and a gesture toward regeneration.

I remember the first time I held one of our urns with ashes inside—it wasn’t just a product. It was the final home of someone deeply loved. That moment changed everything for me.

2. Simple Acts, Deep Rituals: Scattering Ashes with Meaning

Not all ceremonies need structure. Some of the most meaningful moments come from the heart, improvised and imperfect.

• A family gathering at a windswept hill where ashes are scattered with hands trembling and hearts full.

• A single person walking into a forest, whispering goodbye before gently releasing what remains.

• A boat drifting quietly as a water-soluble urn floats and dissolves, taking its time, leaving ripples behind.

There’s no single right way. What matters is that it feels right for you. These are the kinds of moments that become memory—anchors in grief.

3. A Living Tribute: Growing Memory Through Plants and Flowers

Some families find peace in turning ashes into life—literally. Burying ashes with seeds or planting a tree can be a powerful symbol of continuation.

That tree will one day give shade, that garden will bloom, and you’ll know that part of them lives on in the roots, the blossoms, the air. In our Pachamama Honoring Kit, we include wildflower seeds that bloom into a butterfly garden. Watching those flowers sway in the breeze can feel like a quiet hello from the one who’s gone.

4. Homegrown Rituals: Creating Sacred Moments in Your Own Way

There is no manual for grief. Some days you’ll want to be surrounded by people. Other days, you’ll crave solitude. You get to decide what your goodbye looks like.

Write a letter. Light a candle. Play a song that meant something. Hold their favorite item in your hand. Breathe. Speak their name.

The rituals that emerge from your love—those are the most powerful ones.

You Don’t Need to Know All the Answers

I’ve had families ask me everything—from how to physically pour the ashes to what words they should say. And the truth is: there’s no perfect answer. No formula. Just intention.

What helped me was creating space to feel—without rushing. What helps others is knowing they’re not alone. That’s why I created Pachamama. So that in the middle of your heartbreak, you’d have one less thing to figure out.

If you’re holding ashes right now, take your time. You don’t have to decide today. But when you do, know that there are ways to honor, to reconnect, to remember—ways that feel aligned with your values, your love, and the earth we share.

Whether it's a wildflower garden, a water farewell, or a quiet burial under a favorite tree, I hope you find peace in the process. And if you need a guide, or a handmade urn to accompany your ceremony, Pachamama is here.

We're not just offering urns—we’re offering presence, understanding, and the tools to help you shape your own goodbye.